Tony, Tony

Don't mess with this 30 lb 6-year-old, Tony. Just find his stuff. 

Every time Eli loses something, he recites a prayer/poem to St. Anthony, who is apparently the patron saint of lost crap.


Tony, Tony, look around; somethings's lost and must be found.

Only nowadays Eli recites it differently. After hearing my rendition, which has the same wording but is spoken with a New Jersey accent, it now takes on a more severe, almost threatening tone. Like if Tony doesn't find find the lost Star wars figure/video game/missing Lego piece, there will be consequences of the concrete shoe variety.

It also seems to work faster. Coincidence?

Speakin' of Cowboys...

That's what he is.

PS: That is blue cotton candy from yesterday stuck to his face bandage.

Drinking Contest!

We ran to Trader Joe's tonight, my fave shop-spot here in Cincinnati. It wasn't too busy so I was able to bring Eli in. In the back as many of you know, they have a sample counter. The tiny cups of juice set out on a tray caught Eli's eye and he exclaimed, "Look! They're having a drinking contest!"

Sadly, it was only peach juice. 

Eli's New Vocabulary

Since being in the hospital, these are things added to Eli's vocabulary that one can hear him utter on any given day.

I asked him to tell me what they each mean in his own words.

1. puke bucket- a bucket that you can puke in.
2. actigall- a medicine that keeps your liver healthy.
3. urinal- something that you pee in.
4. cyclopsproin- some kind of medicine that goes in your central line.
5. blood work- something where you get poked with a sharp, sharp, very sharp needle.
6. hostibal (his pronunciation of hospital)- I think people know what a hostibal is.
7. child life specialist- someone who brings you fun toys.
8. dressing change- where you get your central line patch changed.
9. central line- something that goes in your vein and goes to your heart.
10. kidney infection-  something that makes you feel like you have to pee when you already went. 
11. acyclovir- medicine.
12. occupational and physical therapy- it's where you get OT and PT to get strong and healthy.
13. gluten free- something that you have to get that's good for you when you have goofy blood.
14. cefapime- some kind of medicine that i'm allergic to.
15. fanconi- something that you grow up with in your body that makes your blood act goofy.
16. NJ Tube- something that goes in your nose down to your small intestines.
17. small intestines- something in your guts.
18. nausea- when you get nauseous and throw up.
19. bladder- something that holds your pee.
20. chemotherapy- a medicine that makes stuff change like your hair falls out, your skin turns tan, and gives you mouth sores that make you not eat.
21. biopsy- something that they poke in your butt and if they put it in the wrong spot it hurts when you walk.
22. Ronald McDonald House- A house with a statue of Ronald. People stay there that have goofy blood. 
23. donor- someone who doesn't have goofy blood and can make you feel better.
24. bone marrow transplant- it's where you can have two birthdays so you don't have to wait for your 'nother birthday. it's where you get new cells to get healthy and go back home from Cincinnati, or if you live in Cincinnati you can go back to your house in Cincinnati or Ohio. 

He's a pretty smart little guy. 

Howdy

A cowboy song by Eli Lana

Blockin' the sun

From my eyes

I'm sayin' howdy

To my partners

Sayin' yee ha

While I'm ridin' my horse

Shootin' my caps

BAM!BAM!BAM!

Tippin' my hat up

This is how we do it

Yee ha! Yee ha!

That is the password 

(repeat three more times)

Now you know the password

Now you can come

Any time you want

Because we will need your help

With the bad guys

BAM!BAM!BAM!

Armpit Hair

Yes, the title of this post is "Armpit Hair." When YOU'RE blogging about funny things your six-year-old boy says, I challenge YOU to avoid having a post entitled, "Armpit Hair."

ELI: Mommy! Oh my gosh...Do you shave your armpits??
MOMMY: (looking at my armpit, hoping that I had in fact shaved) Yes. Girls shave their armpits Eli.
E: What the heck??
M: Girls shave their armpits, boys don't.
E: What do boys do?
M: They just let it grow all over the place. Have you seen your father's armpits?
E: (Inspecting his own armpits) I don't have any armpit hair.
M: No, you're too young. You'll get it when you're older.
E: Oh. How old? Like, seven??

Hospital-isms

We've noticed the meds given to Eli act like sort of a truth serum...I'm sure this list will keep growing!

To Daddy: You’re breathing on me, and your breath smells. And, you even do it when you’re sleepin’.

To a taller than average nurse with a high hair up-do: Oh my gosh, you look like a giant!

Mommy: Does your stomach feel any better?

Eli: Well after that crazy toot it does!


Aunt Kathy: What's wrong honey, are you gonna get sick? Do you need a bin?
Eli: No, I need a cup. It's just my salima... *spits into cup*


‎Eli: Mommy, I love you. I love you more than how many pillowcases they have here.

And lastly: When Eli presses the button for his pain meds, he phrases his answer in the form of a question a la Jeopardy! and states: What is Morphine?