Dreaming

Eli aboard the Polar Express, looking for Santa

Mom, last night I had three dreams. Two were nightmares and one was the other kind...What's it called when you have a dream that's not a nightmare?

Interview With Eli

So far these posts have all been random musings of things I've heard and remembered. So for a change, I thought I would interview our subject, and see what we get...

Note: Eli is out of school for the time being and is dealing with some medical stuff right now, so he's a captive subject.

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So Eli, you've had an interesting couple weeks. What has been your favorite thing to have happened to you? Getting toys.

What was the worst part? Getting that medicine. That they shot in my mouth. And the other part, I didn't know they poked a hole in my butt. That was actually dumb.

How did you like staying in the hospital? I hated it because it was boring and dumb and stupid.

How have you been keeping busy at home? I play and watch movies.

How are you liking the new food Mom's been giving you? What food? The smoothies, the fruit leather, the rice milk... Rice milk?? I like the chocolate milk. Oh, well that's actually almond milk. So it's nut milk? I was drinkin' nut milk? Yuck.

What are your plans for the day? I don't have any stupid dumb plans.

What do dogs think about? Nothin'... Missing us when we were at the Doctors. Finding a way to beat up Gus [our cat].

Tell me three words that describe your favorite Star Wars movie. Beginning, middle, and end.

If you had to pick one food to eat every day for the rest of your life what would it be? A red popsicle.

Why are you so darn cute? Because... Just because. And I'm COOL I'm not CUTE. That's a baby word.

A Happy Fakn Eli Story

I have a bad mouth, it's no secret. I swear, I drop F bombs, I say $hit instead of shoot, damn instead of darn, and God instead of gosh. Sometime all of these words can be heard in once sentence in varying combinations. So the following conversation came as no surprise. But God damn, did we laugh.

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Saturday morning, Eli crawled in bed to snuggle, and as he did he was reciting a few lines from "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom," by Bill Martin Jr.  Chicka chicka boom boom, will there be enough room...


He looked at me and said, "Chicka chicka boom boom?"
I answered, "Will there be enough room?"
He replied, "No."
I said, "There freakin' better be."

At this, he was lost in laughter. Completely giddy and giggly, rolling on the down comforter laughing. He made me do it again. And again. In return, I made him promise never to repeat it. He complied.

Fast forward 10 hours, we're all eating take-out around the coffee table. Emma, my 17 year old daughter, says to me, "Did you do something with Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with Eli?" in a tone that indicated this was a rhetorical question.

"Um, yeah..." I answered reluctantly.  "Why?"

"Because today in Wegmans, he repeated it." She wasn't amused.

"Well I didn't swear, I said 'freakin'!"

"Yeah, well HE did!!!" she exclaimed, disgusted with me. Again.

I looked at Eli and said, "Eli, I didn't say the F word this morning! Why would you say that in Wegmans???"

"What F word?" he asked. "Do you mean F...A...K...N?"

I thought about it for a second and looked at Emma, who was laughing discreetly into her napkin. I looked at Tim who was cutting his steak, pressing his lips together while holding his breath. We all knew what the kid was spelling.

"Yes Eli, that's the one."  I guess I need to watch my fakn mouth.

He Wishes

E and Me, Summer 2009

I know this blog up till now has been sillies and funny. But today the Eli-ism I'm choosing to write about is something different, based on a conversation from the other day:

Eli: When I grow up, will I have big hands like everybody else with five fingers on this hand, and five fingers on this hand?(holds up each hand)
Me: No Eli, you won't.
Eli: I won't?
Me: No.
Eli: But I don't like this hand (hits his right hand). It looks like a droid hand. And when I grow up everyone's hands are gonna be big and they're gonna be different. I wish I hand hands like everybody else (he's starting to cry).
Me: But your hands are part of what make you special, and I wouldn't want you any other way.
Eli: But I don't like having these hands.
Me: If I could give you my hands and take your hands, I would do that. It just doesn't work that way. But you are kind, and you're a good friend, and a smart boy, and all those things are more important than how your hands look. And people love you for who you are. You make friends everywhere you go. And a lot of people can't do that.

He crawled up into my lap for about one minute for a cuddle, then was off to play and happy again.

These conversations happen every now and then. Not often. Not even once a month. I don't know what prompted it this time, but after our talk he seemed to feel better.

But that being said, in my heart, I wish the same thing he does...

The Things One Hears...

Here's a little smathering of Eli-isms from the holidays...enjoy!


What's a Jenna Pear? You know, like "...and a partridge Jenna pear tree?"


Mommy, a girl in my school told me Santa was dead...But I know he's not because I saw him in Wegmans.


Straightening out his pawns for the board game, 'Sorry': I'm nervous, and I'm tryin' to get things situated...


Do you know I speak Karate? HAIIII-YAHHH!!! That means I want McDonalds.


Dashing through the snow, 
In a one horse open sleigh
All the fields we go
Laughin' all the way
Ha, Ha!
Bells on tambourines
Making spirits bright
All what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Hey!

Theme Song Thursday: John Williams

Well this morning on the way to the sitter's (we always have our best talks then), Eli and I had a John Williams sing-along.

This is how it went...

Eli: Mommy. How does the Star Wars song go again?
Me: da DAAAAAAAA! da, da, da, DAAAAA daa... da, da, da DAAAAA da... da, da, da, da.
Eli: Yeah! That's it. (he joins in for another round.)
Me: What about this part when they're in the saloon...do, dee, do, dee, do, dee, do, dedoodle, doodley do, de scroodle, ooo, do...
Eli: (erupts into laughter) Yeah I love that one! Now do the one where Darth Vader is walking with Luke. The other Star Wars one.
Me: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DE DUN, DUN DE DUN. [then louder and higher] DUN DUN DUN, DUN DE DUN, DUN DE DUNNNN!!!
Eli: (top of his lungs, mind you it's 6:50 a.m.) DUN DUN DUN, DUN DE DUN, DUN DE DUN!!! heeheehee!!!!!
Me: How about Superman? I'm trying to think of it but I keep hearing Star Wars.
Eli: um...ummm...OH I ALMOST HAD IT. It's the part where he's picking up the helicopter and he has Lois Lane.
Me: You mean the part, "You've got me?! Who's got you??!!"
Eli: YEAH! That part. That's when they play the song.
Me: OH!! GOT IT!!!  dot da da Daaaa! dot da da da da Daaaa!!!!
Eli: Yep that's the one! (and he joins in for the next mile or so).
Me: (getting out to pump gas): OK now think of Indiana Jones...
Eli: Ughhhhhh it's in my brain and I can't get it! Now I keep singing Superman!

I get back in the car, and both of us are mashing up Star Wars and Superman all over the place trying to get Indiana Jones out of it. We walk into the babysitter's house and I explain what we've been doing. Does she look at us like we're crazy? NO.


Babysitter: Oh, Indiana Jones...Isn't that: Bom ba dum BOMM, dum de dummm, bom ba dum BOMMMM, dum de dum, dum dum!
Eli and Me: YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

She gets us.

Chocolate Rainbow

Eli: Mommy. Do you know the song, "Chocolate Rainbow?"
Mommy: No Eli, I don't.
E: It goes like this:

Chocolate rainbow,
Chocolate rainbow...

Up in the sky far away
With Superheroes that live in it
And they are engaged to know...

M: Did you say, "engaged to know?"
E: Yes...
M: Ok.

E: And they are engaged to know...
And Superman is there
And Batman
And Mr. Incredible Hulk
And Spiderman
And Batman
Wait I already said Batman.
And Batgirl
And...